I have gotten a lot of questions from moms about sleep training. It’s a pretty sensitive subject because some people feel very strongly about co-sleeping or very mild approaches to sleep training. This post is strictly informational and to share what we went through and how we got our kids in their rooms. No shame or mom guilt here. I repeat NO SHAME. This is a safe zone.
If I’m being completely honest, we did it all wrong with Abigail. She was a rocker baby and the majority of the time she fell asleep nursing as I rocked her. Quite frankly, I didn’t push for it like my husband did so I kept putting it off. “She’s only 6 months” “She’s only 9 months” “She’s not even a year old yet”. I would nurse her to sleep and then set her down in her crib. Sometimes she woke up from it and in that case, I would do it all over again. Sometimes she would stay asleep and then wake up a few hours later. When that would happen, I would bring her to bed to nurse and then put her back down if I didn’t fall asleep.
I went about it all wrong. No consistency. Many nights I would cry because she woke up 3-5 times during the night. I was exhausted all the time. It finally took Nick saying this is it, for me to really crack down. Sleep training took a solid month. There was a lot of tears (mainly from me) and a lot of stress BUT I wish we would have done it waaaaaaaay sooner.
Ella on the other hand!!! She is our sleeper. Thank goodness. We started putting her down in her crib for naps around 6 weeks old. Nap time turned into bedtime before 3 months old. She was self soothing and honestly, I really enjoyed having some time to myself after the kids went to sleep.
My milk did end up drying up after she had a milk allergy so night nursing wasn’t part of the equation anymore. However, when she woke up to night nurse once a night, I would nurse her in her room in a rocking chair and then put her back down for the night. Most of the time, she was still awake when I would walk out and she learned how to put herself to sleep. This time around we went about it completely different and set ourselves up for a successful and SMOOTH transition to her room.
At this point you’re probably wondering how on earth did we go about two different situations. Honestly…a lot of trial and error but we figured out what worked for us! This is a lengthy one so I’m going to try to keep it straight forward. Here ya go!
- ROUTINE. I cannot stress this enough. Sometimes our routine shifts a little bit but it is pretty spot on. Dinner. Bath time. Pajamas. Play time. Brush teeth. Bottle/nurse. Maybe a nursery rhyme or short book. Swaddle. Bed time. At this point, your child should recognize “ok we just did ____ it’s time for bed”. Keeping them out of a routine makes it hard for a baby to understand the cues.
- Consistency is the biggest thing. You HAVE to be consistent. You can’t cave in every time and you can’t stray too far away from what you have already established. There is a difference between my child is sick and needs me and I think my child wants me. I am a caver. I cave in to my children “needing” me and my husband is the one to say “They are ok. They just want you but it’s bed time and they will be alright”. When you’re in the process of transitioning your child, you HAVE to remain consistent.
- Start small. Start with nap time!!! Do NOT just dive right into bedtime because it will be harder and you might give up way too soon. Get your child comfortable being in their room and crib. If your child is toddler age, upgrading their room to a “big kid room” might help with the whole process. When you’re trying to establish good sleeping habits, you’ll want to be very consistent with this during the first few weeks. So doing nap time at 10 am and then the next day nap time at 2 pm will not work. Same thing with bed time. Keep it around the same time every day.
Teaching your child to self soothe. Ella really likes to be swaddled so she found comfort in being swaddled and sucking on her a pacifier. We suggest the woombie swaddle! Very accessible for late night diaper changes without disturbing the baby because it zips from both ends! Self soothing is crucial so figure out a way for your child to seek comfort safely without you.- Don’t rush bed time. I have noticed from both of the girls, mainly Abigail though, that rushing bed time only makes it harder for them to settle calmly and fall asleep. If I am rushed and hurrying, it sets a less peaceful tone.
If you do not have a sound machine, run right now and get one! Both of the girls have SkipHop sound machines and they fall asleep to it every night! What’s so nice is that it has an auto power off that you can adjust! It also has several different modes to choose from like heart beat, music, chirping birds, waves, etc. - Get yourself a video baby monitor!!! We don’t have fancy ones but we sure do love ours! We use Summer brand. Very simple. Very inexpensive. BEING A WORRY WART MOM, I need some reassurance that my babies are just fine. To calm your nerves and make sleeping without your child easier, go snag one!
- Make sure those tummies aren’t empty! I never let my kids go to bed on an empty stomach. Abigail would nurse and even take a few more ounces of breastmilk in a bottle. Bottle feeding can be a lot easier for your tired baby because they don’t have to work as hard to get the milk out. Babies tend to get lazier when they get tired so they probably aren’t filling themselves up before bed while nursing!
- If you use essential oils, which you totally should, diffusing peaceful oils may really help! I put oils in Abigail’s diffuser every night and when I don’t run it, I can really see a difference!
- PATIENCE! Be ok with the process. It’s going to take time. It might take two hours the first night, one hour after a week, and 30 minutes after three weeks. Listen to your child and their cues. Every child is different. Every situation is different.
So to summarize:
-Stick to a routine
-Stay consistent
-Start small (nap time)
-Teach your child to self soothe (swaddle, pacifier, song bear, etc)
-Don’t rush bedtime
-Turn the sound machine on
-Video baby monitor in the room
-No empty stomachs
-Diffusing calming oils
-Patience with the process
I hope this helps! Remember, not all experiences are going to be similar! Not every situation is the same. Some of these things you may find to be super helpful or you may not. This is just what worked for my kids and what I have seen work for others as well. Let me know if any of these things have helped you too!
You are probably wondering why I started a blog and who I am. Well I am Jennifer. HELLO! I live in Oregon with my husband, two kids and our dog. Family is EVERYTHING to me. Life as a mom to two young kids has been challenging. With work and my husband going back to school, we are beyond busy. Even though life throws us curveballs, we power through. We always find a way!
Just Simply Winging it 